In Her Eyes

Seven years spent pondering the question  'who am I'
Half of these years spent in the state of confusion
Hormones climb, and there's no way to convince my mind
'your whole life is still ahead of you'

My brain doesn't accept that fate 
It only wants what's good now, and when nothing's going good
I think that life will always be spent this way, and I find no reason to stay

I've bought a new shirt, and wear it when he's going to be there
Mom told me 'you look so grown up'
But before he can even see, 4 old men have, one still walking behind, following me

I wear the shirt to school, he's in my next hour class
During my first, my math teacher stares, his eyes don't break 
Next thing I know I have to change, the teacher staring at my shoulders 
Thinks I should wait until I'm just a little older, so then it's okay for his behavior

The other half is spent choosing 
Should I go to the party, should I not
I know everyone will be drinking and there won't be a sober ride home
But tonight I want to feel anything other than alone

Am I a kid? Should I act a little bit older?
Don't grow up too fast, that's what I've been told 
Meanwhile I'm filing for a test to determine my life, and college offers are stacking up on the counter

I think I'm in love, he says he sees his life being spent with me
I'm not ready to say the same so instead he says to get down on my knees
Is love really determined by the guys bet--who will be best in bed?

The underline most fucked up years of life are these seven
High school memories, they seem so great, not remembering all those nights
The ones spent pondering
Not remembering all the times my very own body was sexualized 
By people who realized teens are in their prime
But they only looked after they told us, 'don't grow up too fast-- 
you have the rest of your life to be so grown'

Poem by Sophia
Photos by Francesca